When it's cold I want to die..
by Disillusioned
Summary: Melancholy attitudes and angsty deja vu run abound,but can -you- guess who is currently falling through the well of emotions?Careful!It -might- be considered a tear jerker to some of our more sensitive audience!Ohh..and this is my first ficcy,so be nice.


"When It's Cold I'd Like to Die"  
Written by Aphrodisia Dreams  
  
  
  
A/N: This character I am about to write about was never really one of my   
favorite characters from the book. I find that I am able to relate   
to him more than the rest of my preferred subjects from the Harry   
Potter text. Flames will be used to flame up our grill, so do   
try to keep your criticism to a minimum considering that this particular   
work has some level of sentimental value to it. On the other side of the  
debate, I simply love getting compliments, so if you feel so compelled   
after getting through my fiction,review and tell me what you think!!   
Speaking of fics I suppose I should go ahead and let you start reading  
it. The following idea has been greatly overused, but I figured  
I should just join the bandwagon nonetheless, to see what the hype is about.  
Enjoy!  
  
P.S: I don't own anything but the flower, so if you attempt to sue all I can   
offer is pocket lent and abandoned school papers!  
  
P.P.S: I know it looks like..really seriously long without any paragraphs,   
but I couldn't find an appropriate place to break for paragraphs   
so that the effect wouldn't be lost!gar!Anyhoo..it's really kind   
of short, so don't let it fool you!..and I -do- know how to do   
paragraphing..::blush,smile::  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Where were you when I was lonesome..  
locked away with freezing cold.  
Someone flying only stolen  
I can tell this light so old.  
I don't want to swim the oceans..  
I don't want to fight the tide.  
I don't want to swim forever.  
When it's cold.. I'd like to die.  
What was that, my sweet, sweet nothing?  
I can hear you through the fog.  
If I holler let me go..  
If I falter, let me know..  
I don't want to swim the oceans..  
I don't want to fight the tide.  
I don't want to swim forever..  
When it's cold. I'd like to die.  
I don't want to swim forever!  
I don't want to fight the tide.  
I don't want to swim the oceans..  
When it's cold, I'd like to die."  
-"When it's cold I'd like to die"  
Mobysongs, Moby  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Silky gatherings fell from the withering bud in   
solemn capitulation. The once vibrant hues had dulled, giving away to lurid grays  
and ebon corners where the water ceased to flow so verve was no longer offered.  
Emaciated dress leaves had become dry and bitter in it's neglect of life so that   
they too had fallen into lady death's contemptuous embrace. Like a wind chime   
it spun between the pair of slightly pudgy fingers so that each angle might be  
nostalgically observed. Violet leather of the pedals had bled cold brown from   
the harsh winter and thus only barely retained it's juvenile beauty. But the  
object's dutiful holder found the object exquisite in his childish fantasies.  
The boy still noticed its glamour that had aged gracefully away from the   
unforgivable elements. He wondered with chaste affection how such a lovely item  
could be spoiled by the simple kiss of frost. He pondered why it could not be   
strong upon its roots held so shallow in the dirt and why power was lost by the  
negligent foot of elderly winter. A gasp of mild anguish escaped the child's   
lips as, during his relentless spinning of the little flower, his plaything   
and wondering object damaged itself. Delicate stem gave way in despair and   
surrender so as to fall haplessly to the ground and the petals split into   
shards of magenta glass. Broad, chocolate toned eyes examined the mere   
conclusion of stem that remained in his grasp with sadness before depositing  
the greenery atop it's other half. With pallid digits once again tucked safely  
into sable garments, attention lingered upon his funeral exhibitwith bittersweet  
fondness, if only to distract from the bleak surroundings that engulfed his form.   
Reality soon bombarded his chimera of distraction as a nuisance forager bird   
squawked from outside. Perhaps it was circling him? Perchance the creature knew   
that bereavement was seducing his air and playing succubus to his sheltered home  
from upon the stilted chair he rested. The call of the scavenger animal   
pierced his ears like daggers before he stood with unnerved impatience.   
As he took his steps across the bleak room, tennis shoes moaned against the wooden  
planks of floor. The boards were already discolored from hungry termites and thus  
with every footfall clouds of phantom dust would rise from the base of the room  
like poltergeists that simply insisted upon following him to his destination.  
After he ceased his journey a flinch invaded delicate features like a plague   
so that ample hand was able to rest upon the emaciated and fragile shoulder   
of the other. He was able to feel himself tremble out of his own grief when his   
action received no response, but continued in his macabre ritual so that he would feel   
no penitence in his departure. He quickly gave a clumsy and unanticipated bend at the  
waist so ashen lips could brush against the callous flesh in affection. Yet another   
frown of expected disappointment crossed his features as such action received no   
reaction,and thus turned to place another unsullied kiss upon the opposite, lined   
forehead. A sigh pierced his lips, as his stature was uncurled and gaze cast   
downwards towards the pair of older creatures that lapsed humble and stotic within   
their own dreams.Sometimes he would fancy to dwell within those imaginings,   
knowing that he could be with them for only an instant before unforgiving rays of  
dawn broke his fantasies. The boy also knew that the two were together in those   
thoughts, or at least thatis what he preferred to envision. He shuddered to try and   
depict them lost within the shells that now acted as brain. One last glance over his  
shoulder at the snapped flower by his chair and the rest of its brothers were lifted   
into his arms. Dead leaves from thebouquet cried down upon his arms while a fresh   
bundle of ruby tinted vegetation was placed in the windowsill. He would always come   
back to bring life into the dead room before it was sucked away into the dark   
fissure of his surroundings. The burning sting of teardrops threatened to obscure  
his vision as he dutifully turned to leave, free hand grasping the latch to the   
door while strained voice echoed out, unheard, into the hush   
  
"I love you, mum and dad."  
  
And he could almost dream that they had reciprocated his   
sentiments with merry smile and giddy laugh. But he couldn't. It was death that  
lingered in this room but demise refused to deliver and thus left them to dwell  
in purgatory. But even this lingering was cold, so in fact that he only desired  
to slip a warm blanket over himself that could never keep him insulated from the   
world, but merely buffered it's effect. And with a small shake of his head as   
silence dominated the area he pulled the latch and stepped out into the generic  
ivory hallways of Saint Mungo's, dead flowers thrown despairingly upon the smooth  
tile before he walked off in a hurry, tears burned his eyes like needles. No cries  
could flow, for all his salty snuffles had been purged and he was left to merely   
wish of relief.  
  
But..it was still so cold, the air that frosted his lungs  
and lusted for carnal premonition of his visit.The cinema eternally would spark  
inside his brain like a picture show. So that he could not forget and passive   
reprieve would forever refuse to arrive for his aid.  
  
Yet he still wondered what could cause such beauty to be   
crushed by such little matters..such insignificant words that would affect   
his existence forever.. the words that were so cold.  
  
  
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes.   
There will be no more death or mourning  
or crying or pain, for the old order of   
things has passed away.."  
  
revelations 21:4  
  
  
  



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